Let’s talk about eroticism…
What is eroticism? Why do we say that a work of art or a person is erotic? Does eroticism play a role in our societies and is it different in different cultures? Eroticism has a thousand facets and a thousand languages and is hidden in the smallest details, whether they are imaginary and phantasmagorical and/or very real in our physical relationship with ourselves and with others, in our vision of nudity, desire, and sexuality.
Where does the word “eroticism” come from?
When we open the dictionary we learn that the word is of Greek origin. More precisely from the ancient Greek. “Eros” is the God of Love and “Ism” was added to explain that it is a philosophy, a doctrine or an ideology.
Eroticism is defined as everything that contributes to the desire for love. It is vast! Our words, our attitudes, our physical behaviors, our way of living or dressing for example, and of course our thoughts, evoke the universe of the desire for love and physical love. A real physical and cerebral alchemy.
Why do we say that a person is erotic?
Some people will attract us almost naturally. They seem to inspire desire right away. Why ? Eroticism is not linked to beauty but to sensuality and sensuality is found in a gesture, an attitude, a smile, a look.
Women and men whose erotic potential is powerful are often people who feel good about themselves and their bodies and who like to enjoy the simple pleasures of life: eating well, taking pleasure in dressing, seeking contact with others… Having confidence in oneself, being attentive to one’s senses, gives an attractive and positive image.
And contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be naked to be erotic, on the contrary: Eroticism loves mystery and suggestion, and to suggest is to reveal yourself just a little bit with sensuality, without showing everything! Don’t hesitate to put forward your feminine or masculine assets; your almond-shaped eyes or your devastating smile, your hair or your infinitely long legs, your arch or your shapes… and your humor!
Civilizations and erotic images
Civilizations have developed eroticism through art and literature. Literary works, paintings, sculptures abounded in ancient cultures and today, in addition to these cultural tools, the contemporary world offers us a variety of erotic creations and images through drawings, films, documentaries. Internet has broadened our vision of desire and pleasure by putting at our fingertips a worldwide mine of information and images.
Art and books at the service of love games and desire
In ancient China, couples consulted illustrated erotic books, real manuals of sexual education for the learning of desire and pleasure. In India, many paintings exposed the love positions of princes with their partners. You only have to walk around the Louvre Museum to measure the extent and constancy of erotic art over the centuries.
Reading has also provided a wide range of erotic stories. From the writings of the sultry Greek poetess Sappho describing lesbian desire, to Casanova recounting his scandalous life with multiple lovers, to more famous novels such as “Venus erotica” by Anais Nin or” L’Amant” by Marguerite Duras…
Thousands of erotica books line the shelves of bookstores and offer us real or imagined stories that plunge us into worlds where attraction, fantasy and libido reign supreme. Remember the incredible success of “Fifty Shades of Grey”!
The erotic film to boost our imagination
Films like “Eyes Wide Shut” or “Histoire d’O” have disturbed our erotic imagination by showing us new and daring images sometimes considered immoral. Actors take on roles that shake up our senses and open unknown erotic doors, which we find exciting or not, but which rarely leave us indifferent. Which couple has not felt the urge to try a new sexual game by turning off the TV or has not dreamed of being the unbreakable lover embodied by that famous actor or actress.
Numerous films have portrayed homosexual love relationships, shaking up the image of homosexuality, which for a long time was wrongly taboo and unhealthy. Others have highlighted the libertinage in the couple, or love stories between people of different ages. Thanks to erotic cinema, many prejudices have fallen and people have been led to see other aspects of seduction, love and sex
Fantasies and eroticism go hand in hand
To fantasize is to dream and we dream all! Sexual and erotic dreams, conscious or not, concern women as much as men and if most of them happen during the night, many of them happen in the middle of the day. The mind escapes for a short while or for a longer period of time and imagines that it is living one or several situations that arouse its desire and excite its senses.
Fantasies from the most classic to the most sulphurous
Who hasn’t fantasized about an attractive person he or she has just met! The mechanism of the erotic imagination is set up most naturally of the world: we imagine the other naked, we imagine him or her undressing. How does he or she like to make love, etc…? From the first date our fantasies are solicited.
The most common fantasies consist of imagining making love with another person, or with several partners, in original and unusual places, hiding to observe others making love… but can take on more complex and spicy forms.
Each individual has his or her own erotic personality, and therefore his or her own fantasies. And when a fantasy inhabits us over the years, it is because it corresponds to something intimately buried in us. Whatever our fantasies are, we don’t have to be ashamed of them! It’s up to us to decide if a part of our secret garden can be shared with our partner, and above all, it’s up to us to take the initiative to move from dream to reality if we feel like it!
The fantasy embraces us at any time
We don’t systematically start fantasizing before or during sex! The street, a dinner with friends, a professional appointment… a thousand situations can give rise to a fantasy without us having premeditated it. The simple sight of an unknown person that we like, and that we will probably never meet again, can be the cause of intense erotic dreams that make us lose our mind. There is almost a magic part in it!
Fantasizing is an excellent way to access pleasure. While masturbating, men as well as women, do not hesitate to mentally project relevant images to reach a maximum excitement threshold.
We can invent a scenario together, have fun not knowing each other for example, or think of sensual or torrid things during foreplay without revealing to the other what we have in mind, to increase the pressure.
Erotic clothes, accessories and toys
To increase one’s power of seduction, one uses different things: sexy clothes or underwear, stimulators like vibrators, body jewelry, perfumes and even certain foods with aphrodisiac properties.
Sexy clothes dress and undress
In the West, clothing has become a daily means of seduction and the eroticism of clothing plays with veiling certain parts of the body to make them more mysterious and more attractive. Slit skirts, low-cut blouses, tight-fitting clothes, invite to guess the body.
The underwear in contact with the skin play the card of provocation but are also designed to hide some areas of the body, and thus make them more erotic, more desirable: Many men are excited by the sight of a garter belt or a corset, many women love men in boxer shorts or thongs… It’s all a question of taste and preference! Each lingerie has its own erotic code according to the one who wears it.
An endless choice of sex toys
Vibrators and intimate toys have evolved considerably over the last twenty years and most couples own them as well as many singles. Today, female masturbation is no longer a taboo subject (or almost) and many women achieve orgasm through masturbation. Clitoral stimulators are a revolution in this field!
The erotic jewel revolutionizes the pleasure
We knew the body jewelry, sexy and sensual ornament to dress the body, we knew the piercing jewelry to decorate a chosen area or stimulate an erogenous zone. Many of you are still unaware that there is also sexual jewelry, designed with all the refinement of a jewel but whose role is to increase pleasure. Jewelry for vaginal and or anal stimulation or jewelry to excite the clitoris are the two best examples. Wearing stimulating jewelry is a wonderful way to masturbate! Sublimely erotic and sublimely effective.
Perfumes and erotic atmosphere
Sex and scents are closely linked, and if the erotic power of our pheromones is far from equalling that of our animal friends, we strive to conceive essences intended to excite our senses! Essential oils, aromatherapy, but also sexy perfumes and scented candles become essential to create an atmosphere that inspires love, without forgetting the massage oils: a few drops subtly chosen and it will follow a delicious effleurage of the body. The caresses of a love massage are a wonderful erotic gift.
Food and love
Many foods would have aphrodisiac virtues! It is not proven of course! But there is no danger to consume Oysters, Champagnes and Figs during a romantic dinner… and if chocolate is known to stimulate the desire, it would be a shame to deprive ourselves of it!